Home Jokes on MOTORING, DEFINITIONs: Search Page

TREE:
something that stands in the same place for a hundred years and suddenly jumps out behind a reversing car.

(Anonymous)

STREET:
a board, flat surface used for the storage of "No Parking" signs.
(from "The Wall Street Journal")

4-WHEEL DRIVE:
"Having a four-wheel drive just means you get stuck in more inaccessible places."
(M. C. G.)

OLD CAR:
"My car's so old, that it doesn't even have a speedometer."
"How do you tell how fast you're going?"
"It's easy. At 20 mph, the wheels rattle, at 30 mph the doors rattle. And if I go any faster, I rattle."
(Denis NORDEN)

CAREFUL DRIVER:
one who looks in both directions when he passes a red light.
(Ralph MARTERIE)

MECHANIC:
a person who picks your pocket from underneath your car.
(Colin BOWELS, from "The Wit's Dictionary")

RUSH HOUR:
that hour when the traffic is almost at a standstill.
(J. B. MORTON)

USED CARs:
Speaking of buying used cars... remember it's hard to drive a bargain...
(Anonymous)

ABOVE AVARAGE:
90% of people consider themselves to be above average drivers.
(Anonymous)

LAST WORDs:
I drive down this road every day and there's never anything coming...
(Anonymous, deceased)

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