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"If a man and woman love each other very, very much the woman will grow a baby inside her body."

(Anonymous, from "The Bedside Book of Great Sexual Disasters" by Gyles BRANDRETH)

"Dad has a carrot that he plants in Mom's cabbage patch. About a year later the baby has been grown."
(Anonymous, from "The Bedside Book of Great Sexual Disasters" by Gyles BRANDRETH)

"The father gives the mother plenty of money. If he gives her enough, she goes out and gets a baby."
(Anonymous, from "The Bedside Book of Great Sexual Disasters" by Gyles BRANDRETH)

Richard Oliver, the son of Sir Laurence Oliver and Joan Plowright, was only a little boy when, on the front at Brighton, he was confronted by the sight of two dogs mating. The lad turned to Noel Coward, who was Olivers' house guest, and said:
"What are they doing, Uncle Noel?"
"The one in front is blind," said Coward unperturbed, "and the one behind is being very, very sweet and pushing him all the way to St Dunstan's."
(from "The Bedside Book of Great Sexual Disasters" by Gyles BRANDRETH)

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