Think it's easy being a spokes-celebrity? Actress Catherine Zeta-Jones was answering questions during a Toronto promotion of a new Elizabeth Arden perfume when a man called out from the audience: ``Whose diapers do you prefer to change? Your baby's or your husband's?''
The appalled moderator ended the Q&A session, says Us weekly, but Zeta-Jones, whose husband (Michael Douglas) is all of 58, bore it in stride.
The sporting news
News Item: Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig says it's undignified and dangerous to have immature kids running around the dugout.
Adds Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle: ``So he's contracting the New York Mets.''
News Item: The Rolling Stones will star in promos for the NBA.
Adds Jim Mullen of Entertainment Weekly: ``Because what screams `basketball' more than elderly white British musicians?''
Headline du jour
-- Weekly World News
Dumb crook news
A bank robber in Giessen, Germany, forgot to cut eye slits in his holdup mask and had to lift it up to demand money from the teller, police said.
Folk singer's lament
``David Letterman treats musicians like the armpit of the (entertainment) industry. He tags you on at the end, never talks to you, while he talks to the dimmest actress.''
-- Joni Mitchell, complaining about the talk-show circuit, in W.
An inky matter
Canton oddity Marilyn Manson reveals in Rolling Stone's new book Tattoo Nation: Portraits of Celebrity Body Art that Madonna's manager, who was thinking of signing Manson, called Manson's manager to inquire about whether the rocker had a swastika among his many tattoos.
``Of course not,'' said Manson's manager. ``One of the guys in the band is Jewish.''
``Oh, OK,'' said Madonna's manager. ``We don't have a problem with the satanism, but we can't deal with any kind of Nazism.''
This day in music
1997 -- Michael Hutchence, lead singer of Australia's premiere pop phenomenon, INXS, is found hanging in his suite at the Ritz-Carlton hotel in Sydney.
Ah, the joys of being a rich rock star.
Single-named Korn bassist Fieldy recently told nyrock.com that the first thing he wants to do when he gets back from his European tour is go to a Mexican fast-food chain called Del Taco and order ``one of everything off the menu.''
However, he says that won't exactly be a big splurge because it would only add up to about $25.
And Shawn Kemp wept
Popbitch.com reports that singer Stevie Wonder has six mistresses.
Although each gal has her own apartment, the pads are identical, presumably so the blind Wonder can find his way to the bedroom as quickly as possible.
Comedian Rodney Dangerfield -- his birth certificate reads Jacob Cohen -- is 81 today.
Possible likelihood seen
According to a television commercial for ditech.com, ``The likelihood of interest rates going up in the near future is a very real possibility.
Adds Doug Robarchek of the Charlotte Observer: ``Gee, the likelihood is a possibility. Sounds like a definite chance of some probability.''
Considerate to a fault
Val Kilmer is in Los Angeles shooting Wonderland, in which he plays porn legend John Holmes, who supposedly slept with 10,000 women.
Said Val: ``Listen, don't tell my mother.''
The final word
Australian scientists have discovered that lemon juice can be used as a contraceptive. Here's how it works: When a guy makes a move on you, you squirt it in his eye.
-- Jay Leno
Other contributors: Reuters, Knight Ridder, Associated Press, NBC.