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Miss And Tell

Next National Inquisition story

4 Apr 03

"GAWD! Weell durn. I am veerly hacky fur yoo." It really is hard putting on a brave face and speaking through gritted teeth when you've just lost out on an Oscar. But Renee Zellweger tried it at the recent Hollywood AGM.
"Smug? No, just better than you"


Four shots show Renee giving her best performance to date as Catherine Zeta Jones wins the Best Supporting Oscar for her role in Chicago.

Renee simpers in her dewy-eyed way in the first; watches Cathy take the plaudits in the second; remains looking on as co-star Richard Gere slips in a kiss on Cathy; and then she's up.

Looking on, dear readers, you are about to witness scenes of showmanship the likes of which you have never seen - well, not since the last Oscar night.

Catherine's smile's as big as the Menai Straits as she steps towards the podium. Renee is already up, she simpers wildly and then allows each of her hands to be taken by Catherine's grip.

It's a game of mercy in action, and Catherine is squeezing the life out of her Chicago co-star. Renee might even have a tear in her eye, and if she does it's one born of a real and intense pain.

Catherine's grip on Renee is as strong as her grip on the little yellow man, a grip strong enough to lift any small ageing man up when he's caught "resting his eyes" in front of the TV.

But the Enquirer hears rumours that Catherine so upset Renee that tears welled in her eyes. As a result she refused to attend any of the big industry after-show parties.

However, Cathy's publicist insists that her employer is a good sort and remains "good friends" with Renee.

Which is less than "best friends" - and in Hollywood speak that is tantamount to real loathing.

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