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Zeta's double gong bonus



Semi-fabricated poll joy
High maintenance movie marvel Catherine Zeta Jones has the best bod in the business - so says one of those dubious polls that bothers itself with such world-shattering guffage.

The multi-skilled Mrs Douglas has curves to die for and sundry assets more spectacular than the Pembrokeshire coast on a glorious summer's day.

And, even more impressively, her attributes are reckoned to be better than MegaStar's much championed X2 uber-babe, Halle Berry.

We'll have words...

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Berry bagged 25 per cent of the beautiful bod stakes to take second place in the hardly scientific-sounding 'What Your Clothes Say About You' survey.

Third was bulkily-boobed Britney Spears (imagine what you're missing out on, Timberpants), fourth was that other MegaMate source of sauce-fuelled fascination Angelina Jolie, and fifth, everybody's favourite saveloy-hiding staple, Pamela Anderson.

And that's not all, trouser-rubbing chums.

Zeta Jones, who recently gave birth to her second child Carys, also topped a spin-off 'Vamp' poll, leading the pack ahead of J-Lo, the Liz Hurley girlie, Sophie Dahl and luscious Natalie Portman.

It's knowing stuff like this that makes the day just seem that little bit shorter...

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