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Posh flops
And the Oscar goes to...
Theron gets the gong
Goody boo-hoos
Hughes gotta be joking

Andre is No1
Tit of a do
Kylie cornered in butt wars

Pigging it up
Drink of a number
The youth is out there

Blown away
Ju beauty!
Chute's you, sir

Theron gets the gong

Click HERE for a list of the winners.

Charlize is a Monster hit
It was a night of glamour at the Oscars last night as Charlize Theron, Sean Penn, Tim Robbins and Renee Zellweger took to the stage to thank the world. While Lord Of The Rings finally came good, picking up eleven gongs and proving there's more to New Zealand than just sheep.

Hollywood did what it does best at the 76th Annual Academy Awards, to give it its official title. The stars glammed it up to walk the red carpet, but there were no surprises when it came to the winners or the dresses.

Theron snatched the Best Actress Oscar for her remarkable performance in Monster, in which she dresses down and gained almost 30 pounds to play a serial killer on death row.

Sean Penn finally got recognised for being an all-round excellent chap, taking home the Best Actor award for Mystic River. He was greeted with a standing ovation from his fellow luvvies.

Tim Robbins took Best Supporting Actor for the same film, while baby-faced Zellweger went all misty-eyed when she picked up Best Supporting Actress for her role in Cold Mountain.

Kiwi's everywhere can raise a glass to Peter Jackson, who snatched Best Director and Best Picture for The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King.

Despite their success at the Golden Globes, Scarlett Johansson and Bill Murray walked away empty-handed but the writer and director of Lost In Translation, Sofia Coppola, took home the Best Writing award, which will make her daddy glow with proud.

Kooky Brit gal Samantha Morton, who was nominated for Best Actress for In America, surprised people by wearing a dark grey-blue vintage dress from Givenchy's first couture collection of 1951, don't you know. But we still think she looked better last year in her Sex Pistols T-shirt.

Of course, we have to mention Catherine Zeta Jones who kindly brought her granddad along for the show. Wearing a scarlet dress by Versace, Cath was pleased to babble about anything.

"My friend Donatella was so amazing for me when I was pregnant, it's a hard thing to do to constantly measure your belly," she said.

"I saw this dress in her archive book, said I loved it and she made it for me."

Which is a lovely story.

Expect more gown spotting to occur in the tabloids all week, but for now, we'll simply say goodnight America and thank-you for giving us a reason to live.

Click HERE for a list of the winners.

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