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Celeb mummyhood - just yummy

Mar 4, 2005, 08:05

She has a successful career, flowing long locks, a complete lack of cellulite and is a doting mother and wife. She is a Yummy Mummy.

The frighteningly-perfect woman is nurse maid, children's entertainer, and imaginative cook and nutritionist, yet she has never been seen with bolognese sauce on her designer skirt, or baby sick on her Manolo Blahnick stilettoes.

She is so organised she makes Stepford look like a mess, and still finds time to iron socks, keep her toes well pedicured and do aerobics every day.

In real life, it is rare to find such a vision of motherly perfection. Most mums are far too busy to keep every hair in place and every child as shiny as a pin.

Yet, in the plastic world of celebrity, there are countless examples of the Yummy Mummy.

Now the doting mum of three children, Victoria Beckham is always immaculately as are her troupe of boys. She never has a hair extension out of place and says she loves being pregnant and giving birth.

Elizabeth Hurley caused controversy when she lost four stone and was sporting size eight designer frocks within two months of giving birth but many mums had pangs of jealousy when they saw her flat belly and dimple-free thighs. For the Yummy Mummy's honed figure, high street maternity wear simply won't do. It's internet shopping or exclusive boutiques only. The likes of Kate Moss and Gwyneth Paltrow have new mum Stella McCartney to turn to.

Sex and the City fashionista Sarah Jessica Parker got shoe god Manolo Blahnik to designer comfortable kitten heels for her.

Even when they do pile on the pounds, Yummy Mummys seem to bloom rather than bloat. Catherine Zeta Jones got curvier and more radiant when she put on the stones. Davina McCall made the most of a round belly by sporting a Big Mutha T-shirt and a beaming grin when she presented Channel 4's Big Brother. Yet both soon lost their pregnancy pounds. Catherine shed four stone in 12 weeks after Dylan's birth so that she could get married looking like a " a princess, not a big fatty."

Even seemingly sensible Davina said: "I feel like a beached whale. I'm giving myself an incredibly hard time about my body, which is daft I know but I can't help it."

How to spot a Yummy Mummy:

1 While pregnant they wear gorgeous designer dresses that show off their perfectly-round bump and limbs that are still toned.

2 Afterwards they are impossibly slim within a month, wearing size 10 jeans and zooming around the shops with a pushchair that could probably negotiate the Himalayas.

3 They have every bit of kit you could possibly need, and will probably never need. It all fits neatly into that off-road vehicle which is essential for driving little ones around London or Tettenhall.

4 They give their children nice, respectable names or silly celebrity ones. Molly, Lily, Jack and Jake are favourites for non-famous Yummy Mummys. Anything goes for the stars. Think Gwyneth's Apple and Jules Oliver's Daisy Boo. Victoria Beckham misses out on this one with Chav names Cruz, Romeo and Brooklyn.

5 Ronald McDonald is not on the menu for celebrity children. Mini stars dine at fancy restaurants from being toddlers onwards.

6 Check out her pants drawer. The Yummy Mummy does not wear comfortable belly warmer pants and big ugly support bras. Her designer pants are sexy, skimpy and expensive.

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