Send it on to a zillion friends and good luck in romance is guaranteed. In fact, say the name of the person you fancy and they will come rushing into your arms.
Do you think it might work if Olivia said Brad Pitt? Or I said Catherine Zeta-Jones?
Don't send it and you will be dumped.
Well, I've just binned it so I can't wait to go home and see what my wife Maria has to say. Particularly if Catherine Zeta- Jones has turned up declaring her undying love.
"Catherine, sweetheart. It's understandable you should have this passion for me but you'd be a lot better off going back to Michael."
This chain letter is actually a combination of two that have been going the rounds: the Articles of Kissing and Love Chain For Teens.
It claims to have been going since 1997 and says if it lasts into next year it will qualify for the Guinness Book of Records. I think not. The GB of R will not touch anything as unverifiable or disreputable as a chain letter with a bargepole.
There are hundreds of them clogging up e-mails everywhere, purporting to be from dying children, or a school project in Michigan, or offering success or money. They all need binning.
The Articles of Kissing?
If you don't want to bin them, send them to me. I'll tell them to kiss off.