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Dylan, pop down the Londis and fetch mamma some fags

MegaStar says: ‘Try this role play scenario, Cathy. You have to sustain an American accent for a whole ten minutes.’

We hope you’re not eating, because wrinkly old tinker, Michael Douglas, has revealed how he keeps his buxom Welsh wife, Catherine Zeta-Jones, smiling between the sheets.

Eeew!

According to the 61-year-old actor, who is currently sporting an off-putting beard, his wife rather likes it when he impersonates Welsh actor, Richard Burton.

Appearing on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, the big-mouthed host asked Douglas if he ever pretends to be someone else.

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"Sure, why not?," Douglas replied. "You close your eyes once in a while, put on a Richard Burton accent maybe - something from the home country, it gives a little variety, the spice of life."

"Well you don't have to do that with her… but I guess she would have to with you!" joked Leno.

But the monster within was unleashed, and Douglas revealed how he’s keen for Catherine to play a nurse.

Won’t be long now, Dougie.

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